Searching Oblivion
by campbellsoup927
Summary: In the end, I wonder, if I had tried harder, would he have remembered? If I ever meet the boy in those dreams, if he even exists, would I have been special enough to stay in his memories? AU story. Rated M for language suggestive comments and homosexuals
1. Dreams Become Reality

AN: So, this little (pfft, as if) story has been sitting in my back pack with the other four or so chapters I have done just waiting to be posted, so I got off my lazy ass and typed it up! I have another chapter typed up, so expect that to be up soon, but don't expect the other chapters to be up any time soon... I'm lazy ^^" So, hope you enjoy~! Reviews and critiques are welcomed, and flames will be used to light fireworks.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, none of the Organization would have died, there would be an entire game about the mystery of Demyx' life, and Demyx would have a whole lot more lines.

Rating: Rated M for language, suggestive comments, and for gay people because people are too stuck up about them =.="

Enjoy~!

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_Why doesn't he remember? He promised he would never forget…_

Flashes of a clock tower, a town set in a perpetual sunset, and the feeling of being forgotten. It was always the same. His laugh, the laugh that I always made surface, even on his worse days, being made for someone else, and his smile, the one that made me feel as though it might have been possible for us to feel, being flashed from someone else's words. Then, an overwhelming sadness that I never knew I was able to feel, which lasted until the very end. Did you mean it when you said you'd wait for me in the next life? Will you even bother to look? _Roxas?_

"I had another dream about him, Dem," I said around a mouthful of cereal. Demyx, my roommate and best friend, looked up from his sheet music with curiosity.

"Anything new?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He had always seemed to be interested in my dreams of this boy. Ever since the first dream when I was sixteen and woke up with silent tears in my eyes, Demyx had been there, helping me deal with the sadness they brought on, or even just listen to what I had to say. Why he did it was a mystery in itself that not even I knew the answer to. He said he just wanted to help me, since no one else will, but I think he might be having the same problem as me.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," I replied back, "Blonde hair, blue eyes, a sort of sad smile that broke my nonexistent heart and being forgotten… the usual." I sighed running a hand through my bright red hair. I always used to get made fun of for it, not every day you see someone who's hair is that red _naturally_. That stopped when I got the tattoos, however. I mean, really, who would want to mess with someone with tattoos on their _face_?

Demyx sighed and muttered something under his breath before he smiled reassuringly at me. "Don't worry, Ax, we'll get to the bottom of this!" The way he said it made it seem like he was telling himself more than he was telling me.

"I just don't see why I have to come to this stupid thing! Why don't you take Luxord to these kinds of things instead of me! He's British, and they like art and shit, right?" I complained to Demyx, rather loudly, who was twitching in his shoes.

"Because, Axel, you were the only friend available today. And not all British people like art! That's like saying all musicians are stuck up snobs!" he replied, his voice agitated. I knew I was being a pain, but, hey, he dragged me there, he should have expected it.  
Demyx had told me this morning about some art show he was in, and then I was forced into going to it. Demyx was a musician, and he took pride in all the music he created with that weird sitar of his, but he was always so nervous about it. Now, why I had to come to those things I have no clue, but, next thing I knew, I was being dragged out the door of our cramped dorm room.

Demyx left me there to go chat with some of his art and music friends, and I decided to browse the art that was hanging all over the place. None of it was really my style, them being photos of flowers and girls that were dressed up to look like they were the happiest people in the world, and me liking the darker stuff of people with thick rimmed eye liner bleeding down their faces and heavy amounts of make up to make them look dead, or dying flowers and things like that which had a symbolic meaning, but I looked anyways. If I was going to be stuck there I might as well look around. I was just looking at a repulsive picture of a girl with auburn hair in a pink sundress on a beach in front of a sunset when something caught my eye. I turned around swiftly, seeing a blonde head disappearing into the crowd.

Now, I'd seen plenty of blonde heads before, but none had been this shade of blonde, the shade of blonde that reminded me of the sun, or, perhaps, liquefied gold. I caught the face again, and my throat closed up. Hair like the never ending sunset the boy came from, and blue eyes like the ocean he never got to see "Roxas…" Next thing I knew I was pushing my way through the art students that were fawning over some retched piece, just trying to keep sight of him. I had been looking for this kid for so long, I couldn't just lose sight of him now, not after my first time seeing him.

I heard somewhere in the back of my mind Demyx calling my name, but it was almost like a soft, whispered echo. The sound of his voice was being drowned out by the one thing clouding my mind, a certain blonde haired blue eyed _angel_ that I was losing sight of. I finally reached him and he was laughing with his friends. Friends that weren't me, friends he still remembered. My face went blank, hiding the pain in my chest where the heart I didn't have before was aching._ Nothing's changed,_ I thought dejectedly, _He still doesn't remember me._ I reached out towards him, thinking that maybe, maybe if I just talked to him, if I told him my name, he might remember, but he walked away with them, and my hand fell limply to my side. Demyx stood behind me, looking at me with a worried gaze. He must have thought I was crazy, being so upset over this one kid. Hell, even I thought I was insane.

"I…I'm going to go back to the dorm…" I said, voice shaking with a barely controlled sadness.

"Axel, wait! What's wrong? Do you know that guy?" he asked, and I smiled wryly.

"Yeah… yeah, I _did_…. His name was Roxas… then he left," I said, that slightly maniac look still on my face. I ran a hand through my hair and walked away, pushing over a picture of a boy with brown hair and brown eyes on a palm tree with some friends. The artist screamed at me, but I didn't care, nothing could make me more depressed than I was at that moment.

I pushed open the doors of the venue and walked down the street, chilly autumn air stinging my bare arms. I strolled down the crowded streets, all the noises of the city falling on my deaf ears. I had seen him, I had _found_ him… but it hadn't made a difference. I still wasn't important enough to him, still wasn't enough, to make him remember. I pulled the pack of cigarettes out of my jean's pocket, sliding one out and placing it in between my lips. "So, Roxas… I guess you never felt the same," I muttered around the cigarette before I pulled out the lighter that I always had on me and lit up. Taking a few puffs of the cig, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "If that's so… then why can't I get those times we shared out of my head…"

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AN: So, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Want to punch me in the face because this is the biggest piece of crap you have ever read and I waisted ten or more minutes of your life? Write a review and let me know, because reviews will be rewarded with chocolate and quicker chapters.


	2. Reality Fades Into a Dream

A/N: Hi again : D I actually finished this story, now... I just haven't had time to type it up, but it's summer now, so I'll have more time to just sit down and type. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Obligatory Disclaimer: Do not own blah blah blah

"You need to get out of this damn dorm room, Axel! It's been a week since you saw that kid, and now you're absolutely lethargic!"

Demyx was pissed. I don't think I had ever seen him that mad. I looked at him, face blank. Ah, yes, _that_ _kid._ He meant Roxas, of course, if that was even his name. Ever since that art show I had been like a zombie, and my life had become redundant. I would wake up, get dressed, eat, go to classes, go to my part time job, stop by Tifa's Café for something to eat, come home, kick of my shoes, and then go to bed. Over and over again, like a broken record, never straying from the pattern. Demyx was right. I _needed_ to get go out and do something, I just didn't _want _to.

However, when a pissed Demyx is shoving you out the door, you really have no choice in the matter.

Okay, even if it was out of order, I still stayed with the pattern. I strolled lazily into Tifa's café, Seventh Heaven, waving at the ravened haired woman, and sat down in my usual booth. Everything was the same as it usually was, Tifa cussing out Luxord, the other café manager, and the sound of clanking plates. I was just about to laugh about Demyx's plan had to get me to have a life had failed when I heard a voice I recognized only from dreams.

"What can I get you today?"

It was a simple question, and I looked up blankly at the male in front of me. Green eyes locked with blue, and I gulped slightly. His eyes went wide, and I saw a spark of recognition in them.

_He remembers me! He didn't forget!_ I thought excitedly, staring at him as if I was in a trance. I must have had looked like a freak starring at him like that, but I couldn't help it. I had been searching for him for such a long time.

"Do I know you?" he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly, like a confused dog.

"I… I don't know…" I said simply, breaking my eyes away from him and looking down at the menu, not really reading it. I wanted to tell him that we used to be best friends, possibly more, but I really didn't want to get thrown in jail.

Swallowing back all emotions, I smiled at him, (Really more of a smirk… but, hey! Sorry!), pointed to something on the menu, not really caring what it was, and drawled out "I want this. Oh, and the name's Axel, A-X-E-L, got it memorized?"

I saw him smile softly and he replied, "Okay, Axel… my name is Roxas," and then he turned and walked into the kitchen.

Demyx had a smug ass smile on his face for the rest of the week. I mean, really, you'd think he'd set me up with Roxas. It just happened that he kicked me out of the house when Roxas was on his shift. Nope, me being giddy and, well, _not_ a heap of depression, lying on the couch, and eating chocolate for the rest of my life was defiantly _not_ his doing. Okay, who am I kidding, I meeting Roxas was all his doing, but he would never hear that from me.

My life, however, still had some of a pattern, it was just… mismatched. I still went to classes, went to work, and went to Seventh Heaven Café; it's just that I went to Tifa's place earlier, just in time to meet Roxas when he got off of his shift. Then we would just talk.

I learned that he was eighteen (four years younger than me, that isn't too bad, right?), he was studying to be a writer at the same college as me, and he was working at Tifa's to earn money for supplies and tuition.

When the seventh day of our get togethers had come, he asked me the question that I was wishing had been removed from the English language.

"What about you, what's your story?"

Now, I wasn't that exactly an innocent teen. I probably did everything in the stereotypical hand book, heck; I was the poster child for stereo typical teens. I did drugs, ran away from home, got tattoos, piercing, smoked, even had sex at sixteen. I sure as fuck I wasn't going to tell _him_ that.

"Well, I'm twenty-two, I'm studying to be a photographer, and I work at the campus bookstore for a little cash," I told him, dancing around any questions about my past. His face fell a bit, almost like he was upset… like he thought I didn't trust him.

_No, no, no! Dear God Roxas, it's not like I don't trust you! I just don't… don't want you to know how messed up I was!_

"What about family? I have a twin named Sora," he said resting his chin in his hands, looking at me curiously.

I tried to keep my voice from hardening, I really did… but it's just so damn hard to talk about _them_ without getting mad.

"No, well, technically I have one, but no one I want to be associated with," I gritted out, my voice malicious.

Roxas' eyes grew worried, but I guess he was smart enough not to ask because he quickly changed the topic to complaining about some teacher (Xaldin, I think that was the name?), and how the man was unfair in his grading. I really wasn't paying attention, my back tense and fists clenched. The conversation was tense from that point on.

That night ended quicker than the others. I stood up to leave, giving Roxas my usual "see you tomorrow" when something (maybe his face?) made me stop and turn back to him.

"Hey, Rox…" I said, sighing and running my hand through my hair. "Just to let you know, it's not that I don't trust you enough to talk about my past… I just care too much about you to scare you away." With that I walked out the door.

"Why the fuck did I have to say that!" I groaned as I plopped onto the ratty couch in my dorm. Roxas hadn't shown up to work for the past three days, and saying that I was getting worried was an understatement. I was fidgeting from lack of Roxas, suffering from withdraw. The dreams had even come back, and were worse than ever. They had escalated to the point that I was recalling in perfect clarity the fights we had, and that the sadness I felt when he forgot me was disabling, mind fogging. I could even remember my last moments, when he seemed to whisper my name through the body of that other boy, his somebody, and it had made me happy as my body was disintegrating into nothing. He had broken me, taught me that it was possible for Nobodies (whoever or whatever those were) to feel, and then left me with nothing but the feeling of pain. Kind of like what I was feeling then, as I sat on my shitty couch, wondering where the _fuck_ Demyx was, because I needed to talk to him into/force him to come to the café with me so that I didn't seem like a lost puppy.

"No, Axel," he said with finality.

"C'mon, Dem! Please! If I go back again they're gonna think I'm some sick freak!" I pleaded.

"Well then they would be right!" Okay even he knew that was a low blow. He knew about how messed up I was as a kid, hell, he had been there. My face fell, and I saw his eyes go wide in shock. He knew that what I used to do was bad, and what had happened to me was bad, but he also knew I had changed.

"Shit, Ax, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. Oh boy did I mess up this time! What can I do to make it up to you?" His voice was almost frantic as he spoke, and I resisted the urge to smirk as I looked up at him, my eyes resembling a baby's that had its candy taken from it.

"One thing," I said, pouting and trying not to burst out laughing, "Go to the café with me."

He really should have seen that coming, never less, he smacked himself in the forehead and gave an exasperated sigh; he knew he should have too. However, I also knew that meant he would do it, so I sent a huge grin his way. I jumped off the couch joyfully and handed him his coat, laughing gleefully as I heard him express/whine "Ah man, not cool!"

"Hey, Demyx, you're drooling," I chuckled at the look on his face. It was dazed, mouth slightly open, and his eyes locked on one thing, the café's new piano player (the old one, Lexaeus, had quit.) The man had slate colored hair that was cut to fall over his eyes, which were a grey, blue color. I doubt Demyx even heard me when I called his name.

"Welcome to Seventh Heaven Café, I'm Roxas, as I'm sure you already know, and the pianist your friend seems to be undressing in his mind is Zexion. What can I get for you?"

That voice was music to my ears after almost an entire work week without hearing it. I snapped my head up, with a goofy grin planted on my face, and was met with a shock of unnatural blue eyes and a beaming smile.

"Why hello there Roxas, this drooling buffoon across from me is Demyx, and we would both like two bowls of sea-salt ice cream" I said, laughing as Demyx blinked and seemed to snap out of his daze.

As Roxas walked away I poked Demyx in the middle of his forehead and said, "Yo, love struck musician, his name is-"

"Zexion…" Demyx breathed out, and suddenly I recognized the way he was acting. It was like I had acted when I saw Roxas for the first time; entranced and seeming to be acting on something that wasn't his own thoughts. This guy, Zexion, was Demyx's Roxas… and the stoic man was walking away from the piano and toward the "Employees Only" room. I sure as hell wasn't going to let Zexion get away without talking to Demyx. I, being the embarrassing one that I am, sprung out of my chair and rushed towards the man, with Demyx wide eyed behind me, mouth open in protest.

I had to give the guy credit, he kept his face blank even when I threw my arm around him like a maniac, spun on my heel, him in tow, and directed him towards the booth that Demyx still occupied.

"So, new guy! I'm Axel, commit to memory, and that," I said pointing toward Demyx, "is Demyx, your future stalker! Just thought you should know his name and description for when you fill out the restraining order against him." Demyx looked mortified, Roxas was cracking up, and Zexion had the faintest smirk on his lips.

"A-Axel! You asshole!" Demyx groaned, hiding his head in his arms from embarrassment.

"Nice to meet you Demyx, how tall are you? I might need it for the restraining order," Zexion said simply, voice holding the slightest hint of amusement. Damn, he was quick, and he was into music… defiantly Demyx's type. They were going to be together by the end of the week.

A/N: How'd you like it? Do you want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty butter knife after reading this? Tell me in a comment~! Flames will be laughed at and used to light fire works.


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